Single Mums Business Network [SMBN] [CIC]

• 

This is my mum! And she has done herself proud! Years ago they did not have the power of the social media or the internet to fight for financial independence and get their 5 mins of glory – so I’m doing that now, because I want my mum to be recognised. She too was a single mum – and I can’t tell you how hard I watched her work during my upbringing for me and my sister, but I am sharing with you a poem that I wrote for her last year, to tell her that I am sorry, and that now I know, I will look after her better…

Every week I watch long lost family and every week my heart breaks, for the women who felt, or literally had, no choice but to hand over their babies. No woman should have to do that, we are so lucky now to have a system we turn to, and whilst we continually fight for improvements, I always appreciate how lucky we are.

Do you want to shout out to your mum who was a single mum in the 60’s 70’s 80’s? (or any year!) Drop me an e-mail and photo to smbn@singlemumsbusinessnetwork.co.uk – make sure you have permission of whoever is in the picture before you submit it. I’ll look forward to sharing the love!

Here’s the poem (ish!) that I wrote for my mum…

Mum I’m Sorry…

I’m sorry I didn’t ‘see’ you, I’m sorry I didn’t know, I’m sorry that as a child I was oblivious you were so low.

You hid it well, your tears and pain, I lived my life in childish vain.  You gave us love you gave us a home you were funny mummy who did not moan.

If I had seen your broken heart, I would have held your hand, if I had known the bills were high, I would have found a grand.

Inside you were broken, your heart ripped at the seams, but fun and games were all we knew, tucked up in bed, no worries at all.

You built our home blood sweat and tears and visitors came from near and far, the fire that ripped it all apart, again destroyed your fragile heart, but once again an adventurous time was all that we knew, as you repaired it brick by brick and made it look like new. 

Mum I’m sorry if I had known the pain in your heart, I would have been a friend to you and supported you from the start.

You worked three jobs you gave us pets, our clothes were clean, hair never a mess, nobody knew at night you cried nobody knew your fear inside.  A trip to France a well-earned treat, to visit friends and put up your feet – but on the second night that changed, as our car was hit and the ambulance came; I watched as you held my sisters head in your hand, as on the road it did heavily land, ‘no not my baby, god no please’ I heard you cry as her head continued to bleed, you were oblivious to your own physical damage, to hold your baby was all you could manage.  As the weeks passed the cuts they did heal, we all flew home but the damage was real.

Signed off from work your head in a collar, again fighting to save all that you’d fought for, I had no idea it was crumbling inside, you were fighting alone you could no longer hide.  If I had known then what I know now, I’d have offered you friendship, I’d have known how.  But I was a child dependant on you, and you tried so hard to do all you could do.

Of course now, it is plain to see, when you lost your temper it wasn’t really with me, your stress was so high, your mood was so low, but most of the time you did not let it show, you continued to fight continued to love, and did what you could to save the above.  In a matter of time we lost our home, the true details to me remained unknown.  As we all lived in that bedroom in town, I thought it was cool I did not get your frown.

As we moved away I was displeased, I did not ‘know’ the alternatives, of course now I clearly do see, you did what was best for your family.  We have lived happy lives, now I’m a woman and I see your fights.  I see what you did and I see how you cried, I get your stress and how hard you tried.  You still put us first you’re still a single mum, childcare DIY the bank of mum.

Don’t take it personally mum that I’m independent now, it’s my turn to journey, you taught me how, I know now what I did not know then, and now it is time for me to be your friend.  Trust me please when I say I’ll do well, your struggles are over you’ve escaped from hell.  If I can be half the mum you have been, I’ll hold my head high for eternity.

I will do well and I will look after you, please accept love when it comes to you.  You deserve to be happy you deserve to be loved, you are independent but you’re also my mum, my mum who needs a loving hug, my mum who deserves a break from above.

So mum I’m sorry that I did not see, as a child how hard you did fight for me, I’m sorry that I did not hold your hand, I’m sorry I could not be your friend, but now I am grown and now I see, now I see what you need me to be.  Please hold your head high and walk 10ft tall, for you are the greatest mum of them all.

All of my strength I have learned from you, from DIY  to tying my shoe, how to keep trying when life gets you down, how to be a mum that makes my girl proud.  You did your best I’m proud of you, now I see mum, now I see you.

---

www.singlemumsbusinessnetwork.com