I don’t normally talk about dating through the SMBN, it is a business network, and it is for single mums only as I want it to remain a professional network where members are unlikely to hit on each other (I am primitive I appreciate what is natural). I do signpost men where I can, as is evident on the first page of the SMBN, but our group is girls only..
There are some frustrating misconceptions about dating when you are a single mum. You are accused of wanting a man for his money, or wanting a man to take on your children, or of wanting to steal another woman’s man. It is hard to be seen the same as you were pre single parenting, when people trusted that if you dated and fell in love with someone, it was because you dated and fell in love with someone, without a hidden financial or parental agenda! And that your ethics remain in tact and you do not want to contribute to another woman’s pain.
Another misconception is that you are suddenly desperate. I remember an employer once trying to set me up with the mechanic next door. They could not understand why I wasn’t interested when he was my age and was doing well in business and consequently well off. The could not comprehend that I would rather be single than be with somebody I didn’t love mind body and soul! Alas… with these misconceptions come sharks; People who want to target you and trick you into engaging with them because you must be desperate.
I cannot count how many message requests and connection requests I have had from fake Gerrard Butlers, fake Leonardo Dicaprios and fake Single Dad Soldiers. I ignore them, report them, block them, and that is why, when a Producer from the Catfish Team contacted me about their casting campaign, I was more than willing to share. Identity theft is a serious problem. Some people are vulnerable and will fall into an attachment with a person who is dishonest and is working towards a hidden agenda. I’m sure these celebrities would be horrified with the reality that somebody impersonating them could lead to a horrific outcome!
I now have something to do with all of these fake profiles! I can send them to Catfish UK to investigate further, and see if they are perpetrators of greater harm! I personally prefer old fashioned dating and don’t dabble on-line, I trust that who is meant to be in my path will be, and am too busy to date anybody at the moment, but, if I did want help in meeting somebody I would use a vetted dating company such as @TailorMatched, who just happen to be exhibiting at the Find Your Power Event in March! We are celebrating the individuals and companies who have women’s backs, and will help us to ultimately feel safe, in work, home and love.
So, if you have been talking to somebody who for some reason is holding back, and you would like Catfish UK to look into for you (great if a Private Investigator is out of budget) – contact them. This is how you apply to participate in the show www.mtv.co.uk/catfish/apply
And if you are Catfishing, and ready to own up! Perhaps you are just shy of what you look like or have used a fake picture – then contact the show, and help people who will resonate with the reality. It can be scary to fall in love and want to stay behind that safe curtain!
All you need to do is be human, accept rejection, embrace attraction, respect monogamy, show up, be true, be you, and please, stop thinking that single mums are looking for anything more than mind, body and soul.
Ladies if you are actively looking on-line, stay safe, be careful, have a zoom or whatsapp (video) chat as soon as possible (same with business, if somebody wants your money, especially high end coaching, they can reassure you they are contactable, traceable and real!)
To that end.. Bonne nuit